SOUNDS : 8 Oktober 1983

'The Elephant Table Album (A Compilation Of Difficult Music)' (Xtract XX 001)**1/2

MOST CERTAINLY it's difficult to remain awake when listening to this tortuously bad LP. Indeed, the thought of sitting through all four sides and paying constant attention proved such an awful prospect that the thing spent two whole weeks hidden in a dank, dark corner, rather like one of the great Mr Herbert's rats, waiting to spring...only it didn't spring at all.
There seem to be hundreds of millions of these - ahem! - Wild Planet-type outfits. Sounds very own Dave Henderson would appear to be their hero ('twas he who compiled this record) and, presumably inspired by his regular eight-page Wild Planet (Wild???), pull-outs, they will insist on persistently retiring to their snug little cubby-holes, where (Aaargh!!!) out come the tape recorders!
Like, wow! Creativity, man...
Weirder still, there are less awful people on this album - some are even vaguely listenable (curiously, these tend to be 'name' acts like SPK, Portion Control, Nurse With Wound and Legendary Pink Dots) in a sickly, stomach-turningly dreary kind of way. But in the twilight zone they choose to inhabit, being less 'awful' amounts to nothing less than a complete sell-out.


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